My first public speech was a disaster. I was twenty-three, speaking at a small college event in Dibrugarh. My hands were shaking so badly the papers rustled into the microphone. My voice cracked. I forgot my points halfway through. I wanted the earth to swallow me.
That was over fifteen years ago. Today I speak regularly at universities, corporate events, and seminars across Northeast India. What changed? Not some magical talent. I learned specific tools. And I practised relentlessly.
Why stage fear happens
Here is something that might comfort you: stage fear is not a character flaw. It is biology.
Your brain’s threat detection system — the amygdala — interprets standing before a group as social danger. It triggers the same fight-or-flight response you would feel if a tiger walked into the room. Your heart races, your mouth goes dry, your mind goes blank. This is normal. This is human.
Understanding this mechanism is the first step. You are not weak. Your brain is just trying to protect you. The trick is teaching it that the stage is not a tiger.
NLP anchoring: my go-to technique
This is the single most effective tool I teach in my public speaking workshops at Hem’s Academy.
The process:
- Close your eyes and recall a time you felt completely powerful and confident
- Make that memory vivid — see it, hear it, feel it in your body
- At the peak of that feeling, press your thumb and forefinger together firmly
- Release. Repeat 7-10 times to lock in the anchor
- Before any speaking event, fire that anchor
With practice, the physical trigger alone shifts you into a confident state. I use this before every seminar I give. Every single one.
Breathing: your emergency tool
Your breath is the fastest way to calm your nervous system. Use it before speaking:
- Box breathing: Inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4. Four rounds. This gives your anxious mind something to focus on while calming your body.
- Extended exhale: Inhale 4 counts, exhale 8 counts. The long exhale directly activates your parasympathetic nervous system. This one is my personal favourite — works in thirty seconds.
- Belly breathing: Place a hand on your belly. Breathe so only that hand moves. Chest breathing signals danger to your brain. Belly breathing signals safety.
Preparation: the real confidence builder
Confidence on stage comes from preparation. Not talent. Not charisma. Preparation.
- Know your material deeply. Surface knowledge creates anxiety because your brain knows it is fragile.
- Practice out loud at least three times. Thinking through a speech is not the same as speaking it. Your mouth needs the practice.
- Nail your opening lines. A strong start builds momentum for everything that follows.
- Anticipate questions. Prepare answers. When you are ready for questions, they stop being threats.
- Visit the venue beforehand if you can. Familiarity reduces the unknown.
Start small, build up
Do not sign up for a 500-person auditorium as your first gig. Start by speaking up in meetings. Present to small groups. Join a speaking club in Dibrugarh or wherever you are. Each positive experience rewires your brain’s association with public speaking from threat to opportunity.
The one reframe that changes everything
I tell this to every student, and I mean it every time: “The audience wants you to succeed. Nobody sits in a room hoping the speaker will fail.”
When you shift from “performing for judgment” to “sharing something valuable,” the entire experience transforms. You are not on trial. You are offering something. That shift alone can dissolve half your anxiety.
Your next conversation is practice
Start today. In your next conversation, practise clarity, eye contact, and confident body language. When you treat every interaction as a rehearsal, the stage becomes just another conversation — with more people listening.
For building foundational confidence, explore 5 Confidence Building Techniques and Breathing Techniques for Anxiety.
